vrijdag, april 28, 2006
skype
Skype. Nu pas ontdekt en geproefd. En dan nog wel met webcam en al. We gaan meer en meer in een dorp leven. We kunnen, als we willen, iedereen op elk moment zien. Zo net keek ik mee over het bureau van mijn beste vriend en kon (eindelijk) zien wie zijn collega's waren. Saai bureautje hoor. Ik had er meer van verwacht. Wat meer planten, een postertje hier, een foto daar. Niks ervan. Wit, alles wit. .... Ik had het eigenlijk beter niet gezien. Beeld in mijn hoofd is vervangen door de realiteit. Is skype, yahoo, .. een aanval op onze verbeelding. Zeker wel.
woensdag, april 26, 2006
2 parels
Olifant
Hij is gemaakt van de grofste effecten,
draagt zijn broek als clown August,
de knieën slodderen, maakt danspasjes
als tante Bertha die een tango de grond
inheit, terwijl zijn kont doet denken
aan een vals gebit
dat net is uitgenomen. En dan zijn slurf
en vlak daarnaast zijn ogen. Hoe zou jij kijken
als ze je lul op je neus gezet hadden?
De plek
Je moet niet alleen om de plek te bereiken,
thuis opstappen, maar ook uit manieren van kijken.
Er is niets te zien, en dat moet je zien
om alles bij het zeer oude te laten.
Er is hier. Er is tijd
om overmorgen iets te hebben achtergelaten.
Daar moet je vandaag voor zorgen.
Voor sterfelijkheid.
Poëzie is voor iedereen. Geef de leek een boek van De Coninck in zijn handen en hij zal van poëzie gaan houden.
Herman De Coninck was Johan Cruyff van het gedicht. Puur in zijn eenvoud, uniek in zijn vorm, magistraal in zijn afwerking.
Hij is gemaakt van de grofste effecten,
draagt zijn broek als clown August,
de knieën slodderen, maakt danspasjes
als tante Bertha die een tango de grond
inheit, terwijl zijn kont doet denken
aan een vals gebit
dat net is uitgenomen. En dan zijn slurf
en vlak daarnaast zijn ogen. Hoe zou jij kijken
als ze je lul op je neus gezet hadden?
De plek
Je moet niet alleen om de plek te bereiken,
thuis opstappen, maar ook uit manieren van kijken.
Er is niets te zien, en dat moet je zien
om alles bij het zeer oude te laten.
Er is hier. Er is tijd
om overmorgen iets te hebben achtergelaten.
Daar moet je vandaag voor zorgen.
Voor sterfelijkheid.
Poëzie is voor iedereen. Geef de leek een boek van De Coninck in zijn handen en hij zal van poëzie gaan houden.
Herman De Coninck was Johan Cruyff van het gedicht. Puur in zijn eenvoud, uniek in zijn vorm, magistraal in zijn afwerking.
maandag, april 24, 2006
of/niet
Vorige zaterdag genoten van of/niet gespeeld door het gezelschap tgSTAN.Niet pretentieus, ongecompliceerd, eerlijk, avondje toneel met sterke prestaties van de vier STAN-acteurs Jolente De Keersmaeker, Sara De Roo, Damiaan De Schrijver and Frank Vercruyssen. 1 publiek, 1 podium en 4 acteurs - that's it.Het enige decor zijn een lade en een gordijntje - vastgehouden door collega-acteur Damiaan die even niet meespeelde. (hilarisch).Ik heb er van genoten. Feit dat de al de vertoningen uitverkocht zijn zal niet enkel te maken hebben dat de 2 dames in 'de parelvissers' hebben meegespeeld. Lipservice heeft vast zijn werk gedaan.
zaterdag, april 22, 2006
avondje stappen
Advertentie:
Avondje stappen met collega's of met vrienden? Ga dan naar de Velvet Lounge in de Luikstraat in Antwerpen. Heerlijk hoe je daar bekeken wordt door kostuumpjes, plastronnekes, en zonnebrillen. Je waant je eventjes in de crew van 'de matrousjka's'. Moet je es proberen. Vast iets voor jou!! Als je niet aan een lief geraakt dan heb je daar vast en razendsnel een vriendje voor het leven of moet ik 'patsertje voor het leven' zeggen?
Avondje stappen met collega's of met vrienden? Ga dan naar de Velvet Lounge in de Luikstraat in Antwerpen. Heerlijk hoe je daar bekeken wordt door kostuumpjes, plastronnekes, en zonnebrillen. Je waant je eventjes in de crew van 'de matrousjka's'. Moet je es proberen. Vast iets voor jou!! Als je niet aan een lief geraakt dan heb je daar vast en razendsnel een vriendje voor het leven of moet ik 'patsertje voor het leven' zeggen?
donderdag, april 20, 2006
Joe
17 jaar. Alles moest voor mij nog beginnen. Ik zat op het middelbaar, had wat kameraden, speelde voetbal, begon uit te gaan, las wel es iets, deed onnozel en keek naar rommel op tv. Het leeuwedeel van mijn dagen werd nog gedicteerd door pa en ma.
Maar enkele maanden later zou alles anders worden. Studeren, de stad, het nachtleven, een lief leren kennen, echte vrienden ontmoeten, een goed gesprek hebben, films ontdekken, beseffen wat literatuur met je kan doen, hoop, ambitie, het gevoel dat je eindelijk je eigen leven in handen hebt en dat mensen met interesse naar je zullen luisteren.
En dan moeten de onvergetelijke momenten nog komen. Trouwen, je eigen kindje in je armen houden, een eigen stek..
Joe. Het mocht voor jou niet zijn. Je pad werd gekruist door waardeloosheid, cynisme en degoutant geweld.
Jij zou iets van je leven gemaakt hebben. Mensen zouden over je gesproken hebben. Anderen zouden trots zijn dat ze je kenden.
In tegenstelling slenteren nu 2 paar sportschoenen rond waarvan niemand hetzelfde zou zeggen of voelen.
Ik denk aan jou Joe, met pijn in mijn hart.
woensdag, april 19, 2006
dag lieve lezer - zin in een spelletje?
Elke vrijdag een goede daad doen is een mooi initiatief. Onze vriend in Engeland is met andere woorden goed (slim) bezig. We kunnen er op den duur allemaal een beetje beter door worden.
Ik heb daarentegen een ander ideetje. Diegene die deze blog leest en vandaag reageert wordt mijn partner in crime. Hij/zij geeft me wekelijks een aanvaardbare opdracht en de resultaten of sfeerbeelden worden op mijn vrijdagse blog gerapporteerd. Is er vandaag 1 persoon dan zijn we met 2. Zijn het er meer, dan zijn het er meer. Hoogstwaarschijnlijk is er geen kat .... en das ook niet slecht. Doel: in de loop van 2006 het nieuws halen: krant, radio, magazine, wegwerpbladje, het gesproken dagblad, .. alles is goed. Lukt dit, dan trakteer ik mijn partner in crime op een etentje. Allez, let the beast go.
Ik heb daarentegen een ander ideetje. Diegene die deze blog leest en vandaag reageert wordt mijn partner in crime. Hij/zij geeft me wekelijks een aanvaardbare opdracht en de resultaten of sfeerbeelden worden op mijn vrijdagse blog gerapporteerd. Is er vandaag 1 persoon dan zijn we met 2. Zijn het er meer, dan zijn het er meer. Hoogstwaarschijnlijk is er geen kat .... en das ook niet slecht. Doel: in de loop van 2006 het nieuws halen: krant, radio, magazine, wegwerpbladje, het gesproken dagblad, .. alles is goed. Lukt dit, dan trakteer ik mijn partner in crime op een etentje. Allez, let the beast go.
maandag, april 17, 2006
zon aan zee
Eindelijk een volledige dag zon. Maar je moet er wel vandaag speciaal voor naar de kust zijn gereden. Naar de parel aller badsteden om precies te zijn. Waar het volk zich thuis voelt, de hamburgers en braadworsten altijd warm en vettig zijn, waar Vlaming en Waal polonaisegewijs de deuntjes van Laura en Christophe meeneuriën, waar een garnaal en een Rodenbach beter smaken dan 10 kilometer verderop omdat het daar 2 keer duurder is begot, waar vanop een terrasje of bankje met verbazing gekeken wordt naar voorbij slenterende dagjestoeristen, waar slenterende dagjestoeristen met een modale je-ne-sais-quoi terugkijken, waar steeds gebouwd en terug afgebroken wordt, waar 'koning strand' zijn 'witte paard' aan de pier naast de zotte fietskes parkeert. Hugo, zing het nog es.
zondag, april 16, 2006
medicijnen voor een slechte dag
Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Patrick Hannifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?"
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled, "You're a jackass!" and hung up.
Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass," and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and the I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It would always cheer me up.
Later in the year the Phone Company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me; I would have to stop calling the jackass. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice, "Hello." I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!" The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 823-4863.
[Keep reading, it gets better.]
The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black Camaro came flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy, I was here first!" The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure are a lot of jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.
A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're a jackass!" (It' s really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.) I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too. After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello."
I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."
I said, "What's your name?"
"My name is Don Hansen."
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings."
"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes."
"Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down.
After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem, I had two jackasses to call.
Then after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution. First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello."
I yelled "You're a jackass!" but I didn't hang up.
The jackass said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "No."
He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
I said, "Don Hansen."
He said, "Where do you live?"
"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying yourprayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.
Then I called Jackass #2. He answered, "Hello."
I said, "Hello, Jackass!"
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick your butt."
"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, Jackass!" And I hung up.
Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home.
Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W. 34th Street.
After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. Glorious!
If you want to watch two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter, I taped it off the evening news.
I politely said, "This is Patrick Hannifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?"
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled, "You're a jackass!" and hung up.
Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass," and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and the I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It would always cheer me up.
Later in the year the Phone Company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me; I would have to stop calling the jackass. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice, "Hello." I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!" The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 823-4863.
[Keep reading, it gets better.]
The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black Camaro came flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy, I was here first!" The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure are a lot of jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.
A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're a jackass!" (It' s really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.) I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too. After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello."
I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."
I said, "What's your name?"
"My name is Don Hansen."
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings."
"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes."
"Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down.
After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem, I had two jackasses to call.
Then after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution. First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello."
I yelled "You're a jackass!" but I didn't hang up.
The jackass said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "No."
He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
I said, "Don Hansen."
He said, "Where do you live?"
"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying yourprayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.
Then I called Jackass #2. He answered, "Hello."
I said, "Hello, Jackass!"
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick your butt."
"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, Jackass!" And I hung up.
Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home.
Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W. 34th Street.
After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. Glorious!
If you want to watch two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter, I taped it off the evening news.
zaterdag, april 15, 2006
proft
How to handle a telemarketer
The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I answered it, I was greeted with "Is this Joe Brummer?"
Not sounding anything like my name, I asked who is calling. The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something like that.
Then I asked him if he knew Joe personally and why was he calling this number. I then said, off to the side, "get some pictures of the body at various angles and the blood smears." I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call,and he would be receiving a summons to testify in this murder case.
I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.
The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice. I then told him we had located his position and the police were entering the building to take him into custody and at that point I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.
My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for several minutes.
My meal was cold, but it was the best meal in a long, long time.
The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I answered it, I was greeted with "Is this Joe Brummer?"
Not sounding anything like my name, I asked who is calling. The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something like that.
Then I asked him if he knew Joe personally and why was he calling this number. I then said, off to the side, "get some pictures of the body at various angles and the blood smears." I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call,and he would be receiving a summons to testify in this murder case.
I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.
The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice. I then told him we had located his position and the police were entering the building to take him into custody and at that point I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.
My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for several minutes.
My meal was cold, but it was the best meal in a long, long time.
donderdag, april 13, 2006
kim klaver
Soms vind ik in andere blogs meer dan het gewone. Deze tekst vond ik in de blog van Kim Klaver.
One day, there was a blind man sitting on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet and a sign that read:"I am blind, please help."A creative publicist was walking by and stopped to observe. He saw that the blind man had only a few coins in his hat. He dropped in more coins and, without asking for permission, took the sign and rewrote it.He returned the sign to the blind man and left. That afternoon the publicist returned to the blind man and noticed that his hat was full of bills and coins.The blind man recognized his footsteps and askedif it was he who had rewritten his sign and wanted to know what he had written on it.The publicist responded: "Nothing that was not true. I just wrote the message a little differently." He smiled and went on his way.The new sign read: "Today is Spring and I cannot see it."Learning what to say changes everything.
One day, there was a blind man sitting on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet and a sign that read:"I am blind, please help."A creative publicist was walking by and stopped to observe. He saw that the blind man had only a few coins in his hat. He dropped in more coins and, without asking for permission, took the sign and rewrote it.He returned the sign to the blind man and left. That afternoon the publicist returned to the blind man and noticed that his hat was full of bills and coins.The blind man recognized his footsteps and askedif it was he who had rewritten his sign and wanted to know what he had written on it.The publicist responded: "Nothing that was not true. I just wrote the message a little differently." He smiled and went on his way.The new sign read: "Today is Spring and I cannot see it."Learning what to say changes everything.
woensdag, april 12, 2006
voicemail
Berichten op de voicemail moeten kort en bondig zijn. Vandaag ontving ik een vette scheet van een goede kameraad. Het is een keer wat anders.
dinsdag, april 11, 2006
ebay rules
4 stoelen in rotan en gietijzer verkocht voor 65,50€. Een koppel uit Verviers koos er vanavond voor om de ring van Brussel en de Boomsesteenweg af te rijden voor 4 stoelen. Ik ben er in ieder geval van af. En die 65€ gaat morgen integraal naar de telenet installateur die een wireless systeem komt aanleggen.
maandag, april 10, 2006
bon we zijn gestart
De meeste bloglezers zijn benieuwd wat er op de eerste dag gepubliceerd werd. In mijn geval is dit niet veel. Sorry, je hebt een verkeerde dag gekozen. Morgen wellicht beter... misschien. Beschouw dit als een testdag. Morgen zal het beter worden want het beste moet nog komen.
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